Emotional intelligence (EI) is often hailed as one of the most important qualities of effective leadership. However, while it’s widely discussed, it’s often underexplained in a way that makes it practical for leaders to develop.
At its core, emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing your own emotions, while also being attuned to the emotions of others. It’s the key to creating meaningful relationships, making sound decisions under pressure, and leading with empathy and understanding. And the good news? It’s something you can actively improve.
In this post, we’ll explore five practical steps to build emotional intelligence as a leader and how these skills enhance your ability to lead yourself and others.
Before diving into actionable steps, it’s important to understand what emotional intelligence actually entails. Emotional intelligence is made up of four key components:
Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s move into how you can actually build and strengthen these areas.
The first step to building emotional intelligence is increasing your self-awareness. You can’t manage what you don’t understand, so it’s important to take time to reflect on your emotional responses, especially during challenging situations.
Practical Tip:
Start with daily reflection. At the end of each day, ask yourself these questions:
Taking time to reflect on your emotions regularly helps you become more aware of how they shape your decisions and interactions. This level of self-awareness is the foundation for improving emotional intelligence because it gives you insight into how you operate under different circumstances.
Once you’ve developed self-awareness, the next step is to learn how to manage your emotions in a productive way. Emotional regulation means controlling your emotional impulses rather than letting them control you. Leaders who can regulate their emotions are better equipped to stay calm under pressure, make thoughtful decisions, and lead their teams with stability.
Practical Tip:
One proven method to help regulate emotions is to pause before reacting. If you feel yourself becoming stressed or frustrated, take a moment to breathe deeply before responding. You could also step away from your computer for a while or wait until the next morning to reply to an email. In conversations, you might even say, “Let me process this and come back to you.” These actions give you the space to clear your mind, avoid reacting impulsively, and ensure you’re better equipped to respond thoughtfully.
Empathy is one of the most powerful components of emotional intelligence. Leaders with empathy can understand the feelings and perspectives of others, making them better communicators and more effective in managing relationships. Empathy isn’t just about understanding someone else’s point of view; it’s also about being present and showing that you care.
Practical Tip:
The best way to develop empathy is through active listening. During conversations, focus entirely on the other person without interrupting or thinking about your response. After they’ve finished speaking, summarise what they’ve said to show you understand. This not only strengthens your ability to empathise but also builds trust and rapport with your team.
Emotional intelligence goes beyond just understanding spoken words. Often, what’s unsaid in a conversation is just as important as what is said. Leaders with strong social awareness can pick up on non-verbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, which can reveal a lot about how someone is feeling.
Practical Tip:
Make it a habit to observe body language and other non-verbal signals during meetings or conversations. Are people crossing their arms (a sign of discomfort or defensiveness)? Are their facial expressions congruent with their words? By paying closer attention to these details, you’ll become more in tune with the emotional climate of your team or organisation, helping you respond more appropriately.
Emotional intelligence also plays a crucial role in how you manage relationships. Leaders who excel in this area can build strong, positive relationships while navigating conflicts or providing feedback in a way that strengthens, rather than damages, those connections.
Practical Tip:
Focus on giving constructive feedback that encourages growth rather than criticism that focuses on what’s wrong. Start by acknowledging what someone has done well, then address areas for improvement with specific, actionable suggestions. This not only makes the feedback more digestible but also shows that you’re invested in their development.
Mentoring can be a powerful way to enhance your emotional intelligence as a leader. Through mentoring relationships, you’re encouraged to actively practice self-awareness, empathy, and relationship management. A mentor can also provide objective insights into how you manage your emotions and interact with others, giving you the opportunity to reflect and improve.
Similarly, mentoring others sharpens your social awareness and empathy as you work to understand their challenges and guide them through their leadership journey. It’s a two-way street: both mentors and mentees have the chance to build emotional intelligence in meaningful, practical ways.
At The Human Edge, our Mentoring Skills and Practice (MSP) Course helps leaders like you refine these essential skills. Whether you’re looking to enhance your leadership abilities or mentor others effectively, this course provides a structured approach to developing emotional intelligence and other core leadership traits.
Building emotional intelligence isn’t just about becoming a better leader—it’s about improving your relationships and decision-making abilities, both personally and professionally. By practicing these five steps, you’ll be better equipped to lead with empathy, communicate effectively, and foster a positive, productive environment for your team.
Take the next step and explore our Mentoring Skills and Practice (MSP) course to learn how mentoring can elevate your emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness.
Remember, emotional intelligence isn’t a one-time achievement—it’s a lifelong practice that will continue to grow as you do. By focusing on these practical steps, you’ll not only improve as a leader but also create stronger, more authentic connections with those around you.
