Great leadership starts from within. Before you can lead others, make big decisions, or create impact, you first need to lead yourself—staying self-aware, intentional, and resilient when challenges arise.
We sat down with our CEO, Kat Bury, who is passionate about mentoring and leadership development. She deeply believes that when people truly understand themselves, they can connect more deeply with others, build a sense of belonging and lead in a way that feels both authentic and meaningful.
In our conversation, she shares how self-leadership has shaped her decision-making, helped her navigate difficult situations and kept her aligned with her values—even under pressure.
Oh, there are quite a few as I do love a reflective question, however, three of my favourites are:
1) Is the choice or decision I need to make a hell yes or a heck no? If a heck no, I check in and ask who I am really doing it for?
2) What will I regret doing or not doing regarding this decision?
3) What is REALLY underlying my reaction or thought? What fear, insecurity or limiting belief is being triggered?
When I recently experienced adrenal fatigue and burnout, I unfortunately wasn’t able to take a break and so whilst ploughing on, I realised that I didn’t trust my own thinking or decisions, my memory was failing me and I didn’t feel emotionally strong – yet I still had to show up in a way that honoured others and lead us through a difficult time.
Because of my emotional state, I found myself easily triggered. It was only when I unpacked those triggers that I learnt more about myself and was better able to make intentional choices about how to move forward in a way that respected others, as well as myself (something I’m still learning).
During this time, I also had to navigate some tough internal conversations and due to my heightened emotional state, I was reacting to people and situations in ways that weren’t fully aligned with the person, let alone the leader I wanted to be. This really upset me and triggered me even more.
Even though it’s tough, you need to own your behaviours and actions. So, in addition to the self-reflection, I leaned into the power of humanity, vulnerability and openness and trusted those around me in the team to support me in navigating through it. I had emotional, honest and conversations that, while they were really uncomfortable, they ultimately built deeper self-awareness—for both me and my colleagues. If I had avoided those conversations, it wouldn’t have been as beneficial for me, them and the organisation.
I better understand my triggers and can therefore increase the time (even if slightly) between the trigger and my reaction. It helps me identify and manage my emotions more effectively and therefore, respond with greater intention – not saying I’m an expert, but I’m making good progress along the road to mastery!
Being more self-aware has definitely helped me make better choices/decisions, have more productive difficult/emotive conversations and hold them in an authentic way, identify my fears, limiting beliefs and insecurities; how they are showing up and find ways to address them. Finally, it’s helped me to trust myself, including my intuition more, and therefore trust others more.
For me, the signs are pretty clear. I know I’m not leading myself well when my emotions take over, when I feel triggered, or when I start making decisions that don’t really sit right with me—ones that aren’t aligned with my values or the person I want to be. I also notice it when I’m saying yes to everyone else’s needs but forgetting my own, which, let’s be honest, never ends well!
When I feel this happening, I take a step back and reflect—asking myself the tough questions (the same ones I shared earlier). But I don’t do it alone. I check in with my mentors, family, friends, and colleagues—the people I trust to tell me what I need to hear, not just what I want to hear. That kind of honesty is so important because without it, I’m just sitting in my own head going in circles.
Once I get some clarity—whether on the situation, my next step, or just a reminder of who I want to be—it’s much easier to move forward. And that’s the thing about self-leadership—it’s never about having all the answers, just about learning and adjusting as you go.
We can’t choose what happens to us but we can choose how we think about it, how we behave, our actions and how we move forward.
Self-leadership isn’t about having all the answers or getting it right all the time. It’s about staying aware, making intentional choices and continually learning from every experience. As Kat’s insights show, leading yourself well requires reflection, emotional regulation and a commitment to personal growth.
So, here’s a question for you: how are you leading yourself today?
